


From the Streets to the Heart

by kkomiellex



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby Claire Novak, Baby Jack Kline, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bullying, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Child Abuse, Closeted Dean Winchester, F/F, F/M, Gay Sex, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lesbian Charlie Bradbury, M/M, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Castiel (Supernatural), Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Teenage Castiel/Teenage Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29386779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkomiellex/pseuds/kkomiellex
Summary: Mary and John Winchester walked out on Dean, Sam, and Charlie three years ago. They live on the streets stealing and doing what they can to survive. When Dean is partnered up with Castiel for a science project, Cas and his family invite Dean and his siblings to live with them for a while.As Dean and Cas get to know each other, a romance brews between them. But with both of them having a tragic past, how long can these broken souls stay together. What happens when Dean's uncle tries to gain custody of him and he risks being taken across the globe to Ireland. Will the two prevail or will they crumble and break?
Relationships: Balthazar/Benny Lafitte, Balthazar/Crowley (Supernatural), Bobby Singer/Karen Singer, Castiel/Amelia Novak, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Charlie Bradbury/Rowena MacLeod, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills, John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Comments: 13
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I know I already have two other stories going but I have a bad problem of writing multiple books at once. I don't know why but it helps me write somehow. Hope you enjoy this one!

Dean Winchester is a good brother. He attends to his siblings when wounded, he puts them first, and he always makes sure they have food.

When Dean was fourteen, his mother and father abandoned the three kids. The five of them had walked to a store. Dean, Sam, and Charlie were left outside. Their parents never returned. John and Mary had sold their house, taken the money, and ran.

Dean did everything to make sure his younger sister and brother were always cared for. He picked up the odd couple of jobs, stole, whatever it took. By the time he had turned sixteen, he had gotten enough money saved to buy a tent. He set it up in the alley behind the Roadhouse, a bar one of his dads friends owned. Ellen allowed the three to stay there. She gave them food when she could but not enough to feed all three. 

Dean had a steady business running in writing essays for the rich kids who needed the grade boost.

“Hey,” Crowley whispered into the bathroom stall. “Is it ready?”

“Yes. Slide me the money first,” Dean replied. 

“No way.”

“You know I’m reliable. You, on the other hand, are far from it. It’s the same with everyone Crowley. Pay first.” Dean pulled a sock out of his backpack that held his money.

“Fine.” Crowley slid a twenty-dollar-bill through the crack in the stall. 

“It’s thirty,” Dean said. “Thirty for math homework, forty for English, fifty for science. You know the drill, dude.”

“I only have twenty four,” he said. “Please, Dean, I really need to pass math. I can’t be a grade twelve in grade ten math next year.” 

“Thirty, or you can forget it.”

“It’s due today but I can pay you back tomorrow. Please I’m begging you.”

Crowley already owed him fifteen dollars. 

“You know what, Crowley?” Dean said. “No. You owe me fifteen. If you want these answers, get me the thirty plus the fifteen you owe me.”

He slid the homework sheet and sock into his backpack.

Crowley slammed on the door of the stall. 

“Come on!” he sighed and adjusted his tone. “I’ll go get the money, don’t move.”

“You have until the end of break. Then I need to get to science class.”

He heard Crowley leave the bathroom and Dean sat with the lid down on the toilet. He pulled out his science text book and began reading what the lesson would be today.

Looking up at the clock, he realized class was going to start in five minutes.

“Sorry Crowley, I gave you your chance,” he whispered to himself.

He packed up his backpack and left the bathroom. He spotted Crowley at the end of the hall kicking the shit out of some poor kid. The kid reached his hand up holding money. Crowley took it and smiled.

 _Better get out of here before he causes another scene._ Dean thought, thinking back to the last time Crowley didn’t pay and Dean refused to give him an essay. Crowley broke two fingers and left him with a black eye.

Dean rushed to the second floor where his physics class was. His teacher, Ms. Tran was very cool. She had a tattoo and never let anyone bully her son, Kevin. 

Kevin was friends with Charlie so Dean saw him a lot. They were both in grade nine so neither of them were in Dean’s classes. 

He settled into his favourite spot at the front of the room as a flood of students entered.

“Ahahah, not today, class,” Ms. Tran said. “You are getting lab partners today. Assigned seating.” 

She tapped her pen onto a clipboard she was holding. The whole class let out a whine.

“This is your final assignment of the year,” she said, passing around a paper. “You will be demonstrating your knowledge of physics. Using everything you have learned this year, I want you to create something related to gravity. A great example students have done in the past is a mini car or egg drop. Be creative.”

Dean rolled his eyes. _This is grade nine crap. I thought this class would be harder._

“Alright, partners!” she declared. “Ash and Benny; Jo and Lisa; Castiel and Dean-”

“It’s Cas,” Dean heard Castiel mumble from two seat behind him. He turned to see his partner but he was crouched over his desk writing something on a paper. All he could see was his messy brown hair flopping all over the place. 

The teacher continued pairing everyone up and once the whole class was partnered, she walked around to each desk saying who was sitting where. 

When she reached the back corner, the farthest desk away from the front that no one could really see what’s happening, she called Dean’s name.

 _You have got to be kidding me,_ he thought. But he obeyed without complaining. Castiel picked up his bag and followed Dean to the back seat.

“Hi,” Dean said stiffly.

Castiel didn’t reply. Or even acknowledge Dean was sitting beside him. He just continued to scribble on his paper.

“So, what do you want to do for our project? I honestly have no idea,” Dean tried again.

“Of course you don’t,” Cas said under his breath. Clearly trying to hide what he said from Dean, but he still heard it.

“Excuse me?”

Cas sighed.

“Nothing.”

Castiel looked up and Dean finally saw him as his vibrant blue eyes stared directly into Dean’s green ones. He was shocked at the intensity of them.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” he continued. “Just because I’m the ‘smart kid’ doesn’t mean I’m doing this all on my own.”

“What?” Dean was surprised by the lecture he was being given.

“I know you’re type. You’re on the soccer team, no?”

“I am…”

“You maybe want to get to college on a sports scholarship? You think you are amazing, can get any girl you want, parent’s have a lot of money. You’ll _pay me_ to do your homework. But no. This assignment isn’t all on me. If you do no work, don’t think I won’t take all the credit. We clear?” Castiel asked.

“Uh,” he stuttered.

“Dean, was it?”

Dean nodded.

“Are we _clear_ , Dean?” Castiel repeated.

Dean chuckled.

“Alright, sunshine.”

“What’s so funny,” he replied annoyed.

“Nothing. Let’s just get this assignment started.”

Dean pulled the paper with instructions on it and skimmed it. Before he or Cas could exchange any more words on the project, an announcement pulled their attention.

“Assembly,” the speaker called out.

“Everybody push in your chairs, we won’t be returning to the classroom before the end of the day. Surprise Spirit Assembly!” Ms. Tran gleed.

Dean swung his bag over his shoulder. He turned to head for the gym when he felt someone touch his shoulder.

“Dean?”

Castiel’s eyes latched onto his.

“We only have a month to do this assignment, plus whatever assignments we have in other classes. Maybe we meet after school today to continue?” he asked.

“Uh, I think that should be fine but I’ll need to inform my sister.”

“Alright. Meet me at the front of the school at 2:30?” 

“Sounds good,” Dean answered.

They sat on opposite sides of the gym for the assembly. 

It was a boring assembly. Trying to get the students all riled up about the big soccer game coming up. Dean was a little excited, since he was one of the reasons they were making it to the playoffs. He scored the winning goal and he was very proud. But it required a ten dollar fee, and he didn’t have the money.

By the time the assembly finished, the principle announced that this was their second last assembly of the year. How sad he was to see it go by so fast, blahblahblah.

Afterwards, Dean tracked Charlie down in the hall and told her he had an assignment to do at a friends house. She agreed to pick Sam up from school.

Dean went to the front of the school where he found Cas smoking.

“Didn’t peg you for a smoker,” he said, startling Cas.

“I’m not. I just like weed,” he responded.

“Really? The ‘smart kid’ as you called yourself, smokes weed?” Dean smirked.

Cas glared at him.

“Don’t judge, Mr. Perfect.”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“I am far from ‘Mr. Perfect’ believe me.”

“My car is over here,” Cas said, dropping his cigarette and smushing it with his shoe. He unlocked a yellow bentley and slipped into the driver's seat. He threw his bag in the back seat and Dean sat in the passenger seat with his backpack on his lap.

“You know, I just got in the car with a stranger. If I end up murdered or naked at the edge of a highway, you’re a dead man,” Dean was only half joking.

“Well, we aren’t exactly strangers. We’ve been going to school together since we were in the second grade. But I promise I won’t murder you or ditch you naked on edge of a highway. Or anything else bad,” Cas laughed.

“Thank you.”

While the two of them drove back to Castiel’s place, they discussed what they would do for their assignment.

“How about a rocket ship then?” Dean was frustrated that they weren’t agreeing on anything. “We can take the class to the moon for a bit.” His voice was coated in sarcasm.

“Actually,” Cas responded seriously. “Not a bad idea.”

“What?”

“Not the ‘taking the class to the moon bit’, the rocket ship bit. We could build a mini one. Explain why it’s shaped the way it is. How it gets to space. Stuff like that.”

Dean thought about it for a moment. It would be a lot of work, but he could do it. The only problem was the money.

“I don’t know, Cas. It’s an expensive project,” he voiced his concern aloud.

“Please, as if that’s a problem for you. Just go tell mommy and daddy it’s for school. I’m sure they’d give you the money if it was for alcohol,” Cas laughed.

Dean kept his face straight and looked out the window.

“Dean?”

“You have got me all wrong, Cas.”

Castiel sat in confused silence for the rest of the ride and Dean was happy to keep it that way.

 _He has no business knowing my living conditions_ , Dean decided. _But we do need to get this project done._

The Bentley drove into a garage that could fit three cars, maybe even four. He hadn’t been paying attention to where they were, or the house they were at. 

Stepping out of the car, Cas led Dean through the house and into the living room. He placed is bag beside where Castiel left his and took a seat on the couch.

“Would you like anything to drink? We have water, apple and orange juice, milk…” Castiel listed.

“Apple juice would be great,” Dean said.

Cas returned a few moments later with two glasses of apple juice, a bowl of pretzels, and some sliced fruit.

“My father insisted I bring snacks as well,” he explained.

Dean smiled at him and gratefully took a pretzel.

“I also asked him if he’d cover the cost of the project, he said he will,” Cas told Dean.

“Thanks,” Dean replied. 

“Might I ask what you mean when you say I have you all wrong?”

Dean sighed.

“Uh, I guess,” he said. “As I stated before, I’m not ‘Mr. Perfect.” Far from it. I am still a smart kid, and actually do get paid to write essays and do math and science homework. It pays well. But I still don’t have the money to pay for that kind of project.”

“So you’re not a rich kid? Not snobby and self-loathing?”

“Well, I do think I am pretty awesome,” Dean gave Cas a wink. “But no, definitely not rich. Quite the opposite.”

“Poor?”

Dean nodded.

“Do you live in a rough neighborhood? Parents don’t get paid enough? What’s your story, Dean?”

Castiel seemed a little too interested in Dean’s life than he was comfortable with.

“Well, it’s none of your damn business, is it Cas?” he snapped.

The look of shock on Cas’s face was enough to make Dean feel guilty.

“Sorry, man.” 

“No, it’s alright. You are correct, it is none of my business. I was just curious.”

“Maybe when we know each other better.” 

_If._ Dean thought. _If we get to know each other. Probably won’t. But if._

Dean pulled the assignment sheet from his bag.

“So, rocket ship.” Dean began sketching a rough copy of their design while Cas critiqued. 

The time flew by fast, and in no time it was almost time for dinner.

“Would you like to stay for dinner, Dean?” Cas asked. “My father has already said it is alright.”

“I actually have to feed my younger siblings,” Dean said.

“If you’d like, they can join us.”

“That would be great. Thanks, Cas.”

“I’ll drive you, what’s you address?” Cas asked.

“Um, they’ll be hanging out at the Roadhouse, do you know where that is?”

“Oh, yes. Isn’t it a bar though? Why would they be there?”

“It’s just where they hang out when I’m not home,” Dean tried to come up with a better excuse but couldn’t think of one.

Cas went back to the kitchen where Dean assumed his father was. When Cas got back, he had on a tan trench coat and keys in his hand.

Dean couldn’t stifle his laugh.

“What?” Cas said.

“What kind of coat is _that_?” Dean asked.

Castiel looked down at his outfit. Grey t-shirt with kittens on it and jeans. The coat did seem a bit odd matching his outfit but he didn’t see a problem with the coat itself.

“I like this coat,” he responded.

Dean chuckled.

“You’re cute when you poute,” Dean commented on Cas’s expression. “Like a baby in a trench coat.”

Dean gave Cas a pat on the shoulder and walked towards the garage.

They drove to the roadhouse and continued talking about their project, more the creative bit than the actual science behind it.

“I’m just saying I think it should look realistic,” Cas said.

“What’s wrong with painting flames on it? It would look cooler.” 

They drove into the parking lot of the Roadhouse and Cas unbuckled his seatbelt.

“Woah, what are you doing?” Dean asked.

“I’m coming with you.” There was little leniency in Castiel’s voice.

“Come on, man, you don’t need to. I’ll run in, grab my brother and sister and be back in no time.”

Cas didn’t seem happy about it but he agreed to wait in the car.

Dean walked into the Roadhouse and was immediately greeted by Jo, Ellen's daughter. Jo has had a huge crush on Dean since kindergarten.

“Hi, Dean,” she said.

“Hey Jo. You working the bar tonight?” Ellen worked so much she barely had time for a life of her own, but once a week she would go out and party with her friends Jody and Donna. 

Donna ran the local daycare and Jody was the sheriff. They had their own one-year-old daughter, Kaia. 

“Yea, Mom left about an hour ago. You’re home late, did you have a date?” she teased. Though everyone knew Jo had a crush on Dean, she still tried not to show it. Besides, she knew Dean saw her as a sister.

“Just a partner assignment I had to work on. His father invited me, Sammy, and Charlie for dinner,” he explained.

“But you don’t want them to know you’re all,” she leaned in to whisper. “Homeless?”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“I’m going out the back.”

Dean slipped into the kitchen and out the back door. He often did this, so everyone was used to it. Sam and Charlie were playing a game of tag that stopped the second they saw Dean.

“Wanna play?” Sam asked.

His younger brother smiled up at him.

“I would, but we have somewhere to be. Got invited to a friends for dinner.”

“You have friends?” Charlie smirked.

“Shut your face,” Dean replied. “You know the drill.”

Most times when invited to dinner, Dean would be busy with homework or hanging out with his friends so Charlie and Sam packed activities. They didn’t own much, everything they owned could fit in four backpacks plus the tent and sleeping bags. 

Charlie got to packing her bag: Her only and favourite book ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ given to her by Ellen on her tenth birthday, a soft blue blanket, her penguin stuffed animal, some paper and colouring pencils, and finally a change of clothes. 

Sometimes they would be invited to stay for the night, most times that only happened with Dean’s best friend Benny. His mother was one of the only ones aware of their situation. She did what she could but as an unemployed single mother with a drug problem, there wasn’t much she could do. 

Dean grabbed a change of clothes and his journal and shoved them into his bag, then moved on to help Sam with his bag.

A change of clothes, a stuffed moose and squirrel, a colouring book, crayons, and a marvel comic.

Once the three of them were packed, they left their small tent and closed up. When Dean turned to see Cas staring at them, he was shocked.

“Cas-”

“What is this?” Castiel asked.

“Uh, nothing.”

“Dean is this, is this where you live?” 

Dean looked down at his shoes. They were starting to wear out but still had a good couple months left in them. 

“Who the hell are you?” Sam asked.

“I’m a friend of Deans, I guess.”

“Well it’s none of your damn business if we live in a fucking tent, Cas. Not all of us have a rich father and white picket fence life, okay?” Dean glarred directly into those blue eyes.

Cas gave him a soft smile.

“You’re right. It’s none of my business. Let’s get dinner, shall we?” He walked away and the three Winchesters followed him. Piling into the yellow Bently, Sam and Charlie started arguing over who was going to get the last apple for school tomorrow.

“We have apples at my house, how about I give you each one?” Cas intervened.

The two kids looked blankly at Cas for a moment and smiled gleefully.

“I like him, Dean,” Sam said.

“Yea, don’t fuck this up,” Charlie added.

Dean rolled his eyes and looked out the window, resting his head against it.

He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Cas was being so kind to him. They barely knew each other, and here he was about to have dinner with the dudes family and had this strange feeling in his stomach, almost like he was on a rollercoaster - not that he knew what that felt like.

This time, Dean paid attention to the house they pulled up to. It was very modern and fancy. 

Everyone stumbled out of the car and rushed into the house.

“Hey, behave!” Dean tried calling after his younger siblings but they both were gone and on the nice couch in no time. “Sorry about them.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks for having us for dinner.”

“It’s no problem. Really.” They both stood awkwardly in silence for a moment. “I suppose you should come meet my father.”

Dean nodded and followed Cas into the kitchen.

“Dean, this is my father, Chuck. Chuck, this is Dean.”

A man turned to look Dean in the eye. He seemed awfully young to have kids in high school, maybe his early thirties. 

“Hi Dean. Nice to meet you,” Chuck said.

“Likewise.”

“It’s so nice of you to think of your siblings and bring them to join us, I hope your parents don’t mind.”

“Uh, no parents to worry about so,” Dean shrugged.

“Wait. Not only do you live in a tent in an alleyway but you don’t have parents?” Cas’s eyes widened.

“Yup. Ellen has always been kind to us though,” Dean says.

“You live in a tent?” Chuck says.

Dean nods slowly.

“Yea, since last year. Before that it was just the streets.”

“Where are your parents?” Chuck questions.

“Who knows. All I know is they said they’d be right back when I was fourteen they went into the store, said they’d be back. Never were.” Dean looked away to see what Chuck was making. “Homemade pizza?” Dean guessed by the ingredients.

“Yea. I forgot to ask if you have any allergies,” Cas remembered.

“Charlie is allergic to shrimp but other than that, no.”

“Well lucky you, Cas hates seafood,” Chuck smiled at him.

“I better go check on Sam and Charlie,” Dean decided.

In the living room, he could still hear Castiel talking to his father.

“Poor kid,” Chuck said.

“I wish there was something I could do. I know what it’s like to live on the streets,” Cas said. 

_What does he mean he knows what it’s like. Look at this place, it’s a palace._

“If you’d like, Castiel, they can stay here for a little bit. We have an extra bedroom.”

“There’s three of them and one bedroom,” Cas said.

“So? The three of them are living in a tent. It’s getting very hot outside, here is a lot better don’t you think. We have AC and food.”

“I guess. I mean, we barely know them though,” Castiel pointed out.

“I barely knew you when I took you in.”

“That’s different and you know it. I was your son. You might not have met me but the blood tests proved it. These are just some kids from school.”

“And yet you seem to get along with Dean very well.”

There was silence for a few minutes and then Chuck called to the three of them.

“Dinner!”

“Come on guys, let’s go eat.”

Chuck sat at the head of the table with Castiel to his left and Charlie to his right. Dean sat beside Cas and Sam beside Charlie. Another man came in and sat at the other end of the table. 

_Balthazar. The volleyball legend._

“I didn’t know you and Cas were brothers, Balth,” Dean said. Dean and Balthazar were friends since they both hung out with the’ jocks’.

“Yea, real close too. But Cas prefers few close friends, I like many acquaintances. You know what I mean, right Dean?”

“Kind of. I have a few close friends and many acquaintances so kinda both,” Dean smiled over at Cas.

“Why don’t you stay with one of those close friends then?” Chuck asked.

“Well I only have two, to be honest. Jo, she lives with her mom in the small apartment over the Roadhouse. Not much space. They do what they can for us,” Dean looked at his younger siblings who were being very polite and listening to the conversation. “And Benny. We stayed there a few times but his mom is unemployed and his dad was abusive so they kicked him out. No where else to go really.”

“You could stay here, if you’d like,” Cas said hesitantly. “I know you don’t really know us that well but Chuck already said it was alright.”

“I’ll think about it, thanks Cas.”

“What do you mean you’ll think about it?” Charlie said. “This place is awesome, please Dean?”

“Charlie-”

“There’s a pool too,” Balthazar winked at the kids who then looked with the cutest faces of hope at Dean.

“How long can we stay?” Dean asked.

“As long as you need,” Chuck answered.

“For now we’ll stay for the night and I’ll think it over. If that’s alright with you?”

“Of course it is, and don’t worry about paying for rent or food. Cas and Balth can give you kids a ride to school,” Chuck smiled. “We always enjoy the company.”

“There is only one extra bedroom,” Cas mentioned.

“We live in a tent, Cas. I’m sure we’ll manage.”

“The couch is a pull out too, if one of you would like?” Chuck explained.

“Can I?” Charlie said.

“Sure, kiddo.” Chuck smiled at her.

The group ate the pizza and man did Dean enjoy it. Dean hadn’t had pizza in years.

After supper, they cleaned up and Chuck said they should have a proper wash. There were three bathrooms, two with just showers, one with a bath. Sam took a bath and Charlie and Dean both had quick showers.

Dean entered the guest bedroom in his towel and found Cas sprawled out across the bed. When he saw Dean’s bare chest, his lips parted in amazement. 

“Uh, sorry,” he said.

“It’s alright. I’m kinda used to it. Soccer team, remember?” Dean gave him a grin.

“It’s not much but a few weeks ago me and Balth got rid of some clothes, we haven’t dropped them off at the thrift store yet so their all yours.” Cas tried to pull his eyes away from Dean’s chest but only managed to make it to Dean’s lips.

“Thanks, you didn’t have to do that though.”

“It’s no trouble, Dean. I am really sorry about what I said earlier, I had no idea your situation was so rough,” Castiel said.

“It’s really fine, Cas. Stop worrying about it.” 

Dean reached for a dark grey t-shirt in the pile of clothes Cas gave him. He pulled it over his head.

He heard Cas sigh. It was so quiet Castiel probably didn’t even think Dean heard.

“You alright there, Cas? Not for nothing but last time someone looked at me like that,” Dean winked. “I got laid.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I’m gonna leave now. Goodnight Dean.” Cas hulled himself out of the queen sized bed and left the room. Dean couldn’t help but smirk a little in the empty room.

He found a pair of soft plaid pajama pants in the pile as well and put them on, throwing the towel on a hook behind the door. 

Charlie came in a few minutes later already dressed in the pajamas she’s used for the past year, an old t-shirt their mother left behind and sweatpants. She was holding her stuffed penguin in her hand and gave Dean a hug before heading back downstairs for the pull out.

Dean worked on some essays for other people until Sam got out of the bath half an hour later.

“You can take the bed, I’m good with the floor.” Dean said.

“Good, cause I’m not sharing. You almost passed this opportunity so that’s what you get,” Sam told Dean. He was the most angsty sixth grader Dean knew.

Luckily there were two blankets on the bed. Dean pulled a pillow and blanket off the bed and placed them on the cold floor. 

He drifted off quickly and was flooded by dreams of his mother and nightmares of his father.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter posted on my birthday! It is a bit shorter and I think I might have rushed the story so I might go back and change it later. Hope you like it :)

A knock at the door woke Dean with a jolt. He groaned and rolled over on the floor when another knock came, louder this time.

“Yea?” he grumbled.

“Dean? Breakfast is ready,” Castiel’s voice came from the other side of the door.

“Ok, we’ll be out in a minute.”

“Sam and Charlie are already at the table.”

_ What? What time is it?  _ Dean thought.

He looked up at the mini digital clock on the nightstand.

_ 8:45 am. School starts at 8:05 am. I’m late.  _ Dean panicked.

He scrambled to his feet and placed the pillow and spare blanket on the bed. Rushing downstairs, he found everyone sitting at the breakfast table, including a toddler.

“What is everyone doing, school started already,” Dean said.

“It’s Saturday, Dean.” Charlie laughed.

Blinking and rubbing his eyes, Dean realized they were right.

“I think someone needs some coffee,” Chuck offered him a coffee mug and pointed to the machine.

Dean glared at him but took the mug and made himself a cup, sitting next to Castiel at the table.

The toddler was in a high chair beside Chuck and Cas. She had a small mat of blonde hair on her head and gorgeous blue eyes, kind of like Cas’s.

“Who’s this?” Dean smiled at the young girl.

“This is Claire,” Chuck said. “My darling granddaughter.”

“Granddaughter?” Dean looked at Cas and Balth.

“She’s mine,” Castiel said. “My ex, Amelia. I broke up with her and a week later, she texted me and told me. I said I wouldn’t get back together with her, but I was planning on supporting her and the baby. Eight months later, she dropped her off at my doorstep with a note and a name. Haven’t heard from her since.”

“Wow,” was all Dean could say.

“She’s adorable,” Sam said.

“She is a cute one.” Dean gave Cas a grin. “Has your eyes, I’ve noticed.”

The seven of them ate breakfast and spent the morning laughing and exchanging stories. Chuck told stories on how he gained his fortune, about his crazy family drama’s. Turns out he has a sister who tried to steal the family fortune, and almost succeeded. She was in jail now and no one had heard from her in years.

By the time they were done breakfast, it was around ten and Chuck had somehow convinced Cas and Dean to go out and get to know eachother better.

“Balth and me are gonna take Sam, Charlie, and Claire to the park, alright? Don’t worry about it. You kids have fun,” Chuck said as they head out the door.

Dean held back his giggle when Cas tugged on his trenchcoat. Cas was wearing a white button up shirt and black dress pants.

“Where would you like to go?” Castiel asked.

“Uh, wherever you want to go, I guess.” Dean didn’t know many places that Cas would like. Not that he really knew where Cas would like.

“Well, there is this one place I like to go to.” Castiel seemed hesitant to take Dean there, but he did. Dean slid into Castiel’s Bentley as the engine started up. The drive was silent for the first half an hour, when Dean began getting very curious as to where they were going.

“Where are you taking me?” he asked. “I thought you promised not to leave me naked on the edge of a highway,” Dean said when he saw the entrance to a highway coming up.

Cas laughed.

“You aren’t naked,” Cas informed Dean.

“Well, you said ‘or anything else creepy’ so that doesn’t change anything.”

“I’m taking you to a place that is very special to me, and that is all the information you are getting.”

They drove for another fifteen minutes and pulled up to an abandoned building.

_ Bumble Bee Arcade. _

“I spent a lot of time here when I was on the streets, my mother was an alcoholic and Balth always took care of me. One day, she finally told us who our father was, she knew she wasn’t a good mother and wanted us to have a better life. Balth and I got blood tests done to prove we were Chucks sons, but I still came here as often as I could. It was the closest thing to a home I ever got before moving in with Chuck.”

“How old were you when you found Chuck?” Dean asked.

“When I found out about him and met him, I was 13, but I didn’t move in with him until I was 14,” Castiel said.

“Huh,” Dean looked over at Cas fondly. “Why would you tell me that, Cas? I mean, you don’t know me and you are trusting me and my siblings in your home, your life. You are telling me deep things about yourself, why?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I just  _ trust  _ you. I have known you since kindergarten. We haven’t been friends, but I’ve seen you around school. You don’t join in on the bullying like other jocks, you stop it. It always intrigued me,” Cas said.

“Cas, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you might have had a little crush on me,” Dean winked.

“What makes you say I don’t?” Cas said boldly. Dean stared at him wide eyed in awe when Cas opened his door and stepped out of the car. “Come on.”

Dean followed, willingly. They approached the building and Dean saw wood boards covering the door, with a small space in between that Cas slid through.

“I’d hold the door for you, but sadly there isn’t one,” Cas joked. Dean slid through the crack in the doorway and found Castiel’s hand extended to him. He hesitantly took the hand and entwined their fingers, his whole body was pumping with energy especially where his skin touched Cas’s.

Casteil pulled him through the old arcade until they reached a blow up bed in the corner, a light switch above it. Castiel reached for it and smiled at Dean.

“Prepare to be amazed,” he said.

Flicking the switch, the arcade came to life. The buzz of electricity rang through the building as it lit up, games, vending machines, everything.

“Chuck caught me going here once, he bought me the building and paid to touch it up a bit for my sixteenth birthday.”

“Wow, Cas. That’s uh, that’s a big present”

“Yea. He was trying to make up for all the birthdays missed,” Castiel gave Dean a sad smile.

“Cas, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Why do you call your father Chuck? Why not ‘dad’ or something?”

Castiel walked over to a vending machine.

“He tries to be a father, but I still don’t think of him like my father. I don’t know, I just never called him anything else.” Castiel pressed some buttons and returned to Dean’s side with a pack of mentos and water.

He offered Dean the mentos and Dean gratefully took them.

The two of them spent the rest of their morning and most of the afternoon playing all kinds of video games; pacman, mario kart, even some board games. Dean won quite a few of them but by the end of their gaming session, Castiel was proven the true pro gamer.

“I kicked you ass in Mario Kart!” Dean protested in a fit of laughter.

Castiel and Dean were lying in the blow up mattress with a bag of fuzzy peaches.

“So not true, you won three out of seven games, Dean.”

“But I won rainbow road,” he pointed out. “And that’s the hardest level, so overall I am the best.”

“You keep telling yourself that, sweetheart,” Castiel reached into Dean's space to grab a gummy from the bag and his hand brushed against Deans, causing Dean's heart to stop. He held his breath when Cas entwined their hands together.

“I had fun today,” Cas said.

Dean swallowed hard and tried to speak.

“Me too,” he said in nearly a whisper.

Castiel inched closer slowly.

“I’d like to do this again sometime, if you are up for it? You can try and reclaim your title as ‘King of Mario Kart’ perhaps?” he suggested.

Dean replied with a nervous laugh.

“Sounds great, Cas.”

Their faces were centimeters apart. 

“Dean.”

Dean, who was having a very hard time controlling his breathing, locked his eyes with Cas’s blue ones, who were darker than normal.

“Yes?” he whispered.

“Is it too soon to kiss you?” Castiel said.

His heart was doing somersaults in his chest.

“Probably, but I definitely wouldn’t stop you if you did.”

Deciding to torture Dean even more, Cas rubbed his nose against Deans, but didn’t press their lips together.

They were both breathing in uneven patterns and Dean couldn’t take it anymore. He closed his eyes and pressed his slightly chapped lips to Cas’s.

His lips were soft and warm and Castiel released a whimper of surprise. He quickly pushed into the kiss and moved the fuzzy peaches so he could press his body next to Deans.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel’s waste and Cas grabbed his shoulders into a firm embrace, hugging Dean’s body close to his. Castiel opened his mouth slightly and pressed the tip of his tongue against Dean's bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. 

He opened his mouth and they allowed each other to explore each others mouths, Dean moaned into the kiss. Dean broke their lips apart for the first time, ending their kiss.

“Wow, okay. That happened,” he said breathless.

“Yea,” Cas said.

“I didn’t even know you were… you know,” Dean raised his eyebrows.

“Gay? I’m not. Pansexual. You? I mean I honestly had no idea.”

“Yea, I’m bisexual,” Dean chuckled nervously again. “I’m not really out to the school though. Only a handful of people know.”

“Well, I won’t tell anyone. Especially if it means I get to do that more,” Cas said.

“Well if that’s the price for keeping my secret, I guess I’ll have to keep kissing you,” Dean laughed and leaned forward for another kiss.

This kiss was more heated than their first one. Castiel rolled over so he was almost lying on Dean. They stayed like that, making out for what felt like forever. When they finally left, their lips looked slightly swollen and Dean’s arm draped around Castiel’s hip.

They slid into the Bentley and Castiel held Dean’s hand the whole drive home.

“I suppose we won’t be telling anyone about us for now?” Castiel assumed.

“If it’s alright with you, I’d like to keep it a secret for a little while. Bath doesn’t know I’m bi, neither does Charlie or Sam.”

“Alright. Does this mean we are…”

“A couple?” Dean’s heart warmed at the idea.

Castiel nodded.

“If that’s what you want,” Dean was trying not to come off as too desperate.

“I’d love that, Dean. If I’m being honest, I’ve had a crush on you since middle school.” Cas smiled softly.

“No way. Seriously?” 

He nodded again.

“Then I guess we’re a couple,” Dean squeezed Castiel’s hand.

“Luckily, my hair is always a mess so they won’t be too suspicious. You on the other hand, look like you, well, had an intense make out session.”

“Which I kinda did,” Dean stuck his tongue out at Cas and winked.

Castiel reached forward and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair until he was satisfied by it’s look. 

“Good?” Dean asked.

“Yup,” Castiel leaned forward for one last kiss.

He meant it to be a light peck but when their lips met, Dean let out a moan and Castiel leaned in more than he had intended to. When they separated, they were gasping for air and Dean cleared his throat.

“Okay. Guess we should head in.” 

The two of them entered the house and found everyone in the kitchen.

“How was your day?” Chuck asked.

Balth and Charlie were dancing around in the middle of the kitchen while Chuck and Sam cooked around them, Shut Up and Dance was playing and everyone was bouncing around happily.

It warmed Dean’s heart to see his siblings so happy. Castiel reached for Claire who was drawing in the other room and began jumping around with her too, she exploded in laughter.

Dean stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching the scene in front of him and suddenly, he felt his stomach sink.

_ This is all happening without me. They are happier than I’ve ever seen them, and I wasn’t here for it.  _

Dean began a bad thought pattern of doubt and thinking Charlie and Sam would be better off without him. 

“Are you gonna join us?” Chuck asked.

“Come on, Dean!” Charlie gleed.

Everyone stopped for a moment to look at Dean.

“I’m actually gonna go have a shower, if it’s alright with you guys,” he said.

“Ok. Go ahead.”

Everyone continued dancing around, except Cas. He had let Claire down and she was now dancing with Sam. Cas locked his eyes with Dean, who looked away immediately. Cas knew something was wrong, but Dean wouldn’t tell him. They barely knew each other. He couldn’t believe he was dating Castiel in the first place. Sure, they knew each other since kindergarten, but Dean barely knew Cas. 

Cas may have had a crush on Dean since middle school, but that’s just who he is at school. Who he really is is a completely different person. Dean knew once his true colours were shown, that Cas would grow to hate him and leave him. Just like his parents. Just like everyone. And Dean wasn’t going to open his heart just to get it broken.

Dean took a burning hot shower and cried as his doubts consumed him. 

_ Dean Winchester. I’m a monster. All I am is hate, and anger, and pain. No one could ever love me. _


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a row?! Epic. This is another shortish one lol. I was gonna add more to this chapter but I think a lot happened in it already so I left it like this. I apologize in advance for the long paragraphs of backstory. Enjoy :)

When Dean was dressed and showered, he went back downstairs and found everyone setting the table. He joined in and placed cups at everyones spots. They all sat down for dinner and while there was a buzz of laughter and happiness, Dean felt like he was miles away, his negative thoughts still consuming him.

“Dean?” 

Dean snapped back to the conversation.

It had been Castiel who had spoken.

“Are you okay?” He seemed nervous and a little worried.

“Yea, just tired,” Dean wasn’t completely lying. He was tired, but he was far from ‘okay’.

Everyone seemed to believe him. Everyone except Cas, who wasn’t moving his gaze away from Dean. 

_ Castiel doesn’t know me, how does he know I’m lying?  _ Dean wondered.

The rest of dinner went by fast and in no time, Dean was helping clear the dishes and loading the dishwasher. He tried to retire to bed but the group wouldn’t let him.

“It’s movie night,” Balth said.

“Every Saturday night we all watch a movie, and this is your first movie night with us, you can’t skip,” Chuck insisted.

“If he really is tired, he can go to bed, guys,” Castiel defended. “We did have a busy day.”

Dean sighed in defeat.

“No, it’s fine Cas. I’ll join you, sounds fun.” Dean tried his best to smile but was sure it didn’t come off as happy as he’d wished it to.

There were two couches in the living room, but only one faced the tv. Charlie pushed in her pull out bed returning it to it’s couch position. Sam and Balthazar entered carrying a bunch of pillows and blankets while Dean helped Chuck with the snacks. 

Balthazar sat on the floor with Sam and Charlie, leaving only one more space on the floor and the couch open. It was a small couch but when Castiel returned from putting Claire to bed, he took a place on the right of it. 

“Dean, why don’t you sit on the couch with Castiel, I’ll sit on the floor,” Chuck said.

“That’s not necessary.”

“The snacks are down here anyways,” he winked.

Dean didn’t argue anymore and sat next to Cas.

“What do we want to watch?” Balth asked the kids.

“Can we watch the Lion King?” Sam asked.

“We’ve never seen it,” Charlie said.

“Never seen the Lion King? Well, we can’t have that.” Chuck grabbed the remote and put on Disney Plus.

“Are you okay?” Castiel leaned over and whispered to Dean. 

“I’m fine,” he replied.

“No, you’re not.”

“Let’s just watch the movie, okay?”

Castiel was silent for now but Dean knew he would keep pushing for information.

The six of them watched the movie, most of them cried when Simba’s dad died. Part way through the movie, Castiel sudully moved his hand across the couch and fit Dean's fingers with his. Dean was a little worried they’d get caught, but before he could express his concern, almost as if he had read Dean’s mind, Cas pulled a blanket up for them. No one seemed to find it strange so Dean leaned into Cas’s shoulder to soak up the warmth vibrating off him.

They sat like that for the rest of the movie, Castiel stroked circles with his thumb along the back of Deans hand.

When the movie ended, Cas was the one who broke their connection first. He gathered the bowls they had used for snacks and placed them on the kitchen counter.

“Bedtime,” Chuck said.

Charlie and Sam whined in complaints but when Dean gave them a stern look, the two kids rushed to get ready for bed.

“I don’t think you are aware of this, Dean, but we go to church on Sundays. You are welcome to come, if you’d like,” Chuck said.

“Oh, I didn’t know that. I suppose we could come and try it out?” Dean replied.

“Great. Castiel can lend you some clothes,” Chuck pointed to Cas who was entering the living room again. 

Dean followed Castiel to his room. Cas’s room had light green wallpaper and one of the walls had a bookshelf that covered it almost completely. The queen sized bed pushed into the left corner wasn’t made and he had an iPod speaker stand on his nightstand. Walking over to his closet, Castiel pulled out a white button up and black dress pants just like the ones he was wearing.

“You own a lot of those,” Dean noticed.

“Yes, I do. My two main outfits are jeans and a t-shirt or dress pants and a button up,” he shrugged and handed the outfit to Dean.

“Thanks.”

“I’m sorry if I overstepped earlier,” Cas said when Dean reached for the doorknob. He hadn’t realized he shut the door behind them.

“What do you mean?” He turned to face Cas again, who was leaning against his now closed closet door.

“I mean when I grabbed your hand during the movie. Or when I pushed to know what was bothering you, I just assumed it might have been that you changed your mind about me… about us-”

“No. God, no. That’s not it at all Cas,” Dean set the clothes on Cas’s bed and walked towards the other man. “I just-” Dean stopped. He wanted to tell Cas, but he still didn’t know him well enough.

“Dean?”

_ He opened up to me earlier, why can’t I just tell him? _

“I’ve never seen Sam and Charlie so happy before,” he said and looked at the floor. “It’s my fault they don’t have a normal childhood like this place. I just wish I could give them a better life.”

“Dean, you are doing all you can. And it’s not your fault.” Cas reached for Dean’s hand who flinched away. He quickly looked up to see a hurt expression on Cas’s face.

“You don’t know  _ shit _ about my life, or what is or isn’t my fault, Cas.”

He didn’t want to hurt Cas but Dean couldn’t stop himself.

“You’re right.” Cas said. “I don’t know if it is your fault. I don’t know how your life has been or why your parents left or your favourite fucking colour but for Gods sake, Dean. I’m trying to get to know you. I want to learn about your life, the pain you’ve been through. So don’t push me away, let me be here for you. Please.”

Castiel tried to grab Dean’s hand again, and this time Dean let him. He pulled Dean’s fisted hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss onto it.

“Why,” Dean whispered under his breath, so quiet he didn’t think Castiel could even hear at first. But Cas sighed and took a step forward breaking Dean’s bubble of personal space. The smell of fresh fruit and cinnamon hit his nose and he melted a little at the smell of Castiel.

“In middle school, I was sitting on a tree stump reading when a group of jocks came up to me. They grabbed my book and threw it on the ground, smudging it in the mud. Then they grabbed the front of my shirt and started beating the crap out of me. One of them, though, grabbed the jock who threw my book in the mud. He punched him square in the jaw. The rest of them stopped kicking the shit out of me and looked at him. He had vibrant green eyes and dirty blond hair. He told them to leave me alone, that I hadn't done shit. Then he pulled my book from the mud and whipped the cover. He handed it back, helping me up, apologised and walked away. A week later-”

“The same book that had been destroyed appeared on your stump with a note from the boy. He had beaten some sense into the bullies until they pooled together to buy you a new book. I know.”

“Because it was  _ you _ , Dean. I started going to your soccer games. I was never interested in the sport before. But watching you, I found it fascinating. Over the summer, you were working at the grocery store I worked at. You never acknowledged me, but I was still in awe over what you had done. Ever since that summer, I’ve had the biggest crush on you. It didn’t help that you look like, well, amazing. I always thought you had a great life, when it turns out I missed you going through your parents abandoning you. You were raising your siblings, scrambling for money. You are the most loving, caring, self-less person I have ever met. And I might not know so much about you, but I know that about you.”

Castiel placed a hand on Dean’s chest. Dean was trying to keep it together, but he could feel the tears burning his eyes.

“I would like nothing more than to learn everything about you. The pain, all the hurt you feel. Good times, bad times. I want to know all about your past and I want to be a part of your future, Dean. If you’ll have me,” Castiel smiled.

“Cas, I-”

Dean couldn’t hold it in anymore and he broke down. Hot tears spilling down his face.

“Shh,” Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s trembling body. “I’ve got you.” 

If it weren’t for Castiel holding him up, Dean would have sunk to the floor and cried on his knees.

They stood there for a while until Dean took a deep breath and pulled back. Castiel whipped his tears from under his eyes with his thumb.

“My parents left because of me,” he said.

“Will you tell me about it?” Cas asked, leading him to the bed. Dean nodded and sat next to Cas.

“In middle school, I found out I liked guys and girls. I came out to my dad as bisexual and let’s just say he didn’t approve. He beat the shit out of me until I was begging him to stop. He told me to keep my mouth shut, that it was just a phase. It would go away. At the end of middle school, right before the summer I worked at the same store as you, I tried telling my dad again. He wouldn’t hear it. He took his bat and started beating me again when my mom got home from work. She rushed to stop my dad and he pushed her on the ground. I stood up to defend her, already bruised and my dad yelled at me that he wouldn’t hurt her. He told my mom I was a fag. Said I was no son of his. Charlie called scared from a sleepover and we went out to get her. Sam, mom, dad, Charlie, and me went to that grocery store to get ice cream. Dad told me to wait outside with Charlie and Sam. I did what I was told. An hour passed. Then two. By the time three hours passed I went inside with the kids, and my parents had left through the back door. I took them home because they were cold, but when we got home, our stuff was on the curb and our landlord said the house had been sold. We were on the streets, no parents. I stepped up, got a job at the same grocery store our parents left us at in case they came back. They never did. Never tried to reach out. They left because I like guys. Because I wouldn’t drop the topic of me being bi. It’s my fault Sammy and Charlie don’t have a home. It’s all my fault.”

Dean began crying again and Castiel pulled Dean into his chest. 

“It’s not your fault, Dean,” he said, pressing a kiss on Deans soft hair. “It’s not your fault at all. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry, Dean.”

Dean cried for a whole hour when he fell asleep on Castiel’s chest. Not wanting to disturb him, Cas gently lied down on his bed, pulling a blanket up over them. Dean soon began to snore softly and Cas smiled at the adorable sound.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispered and drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~

The alarm startled Dean. He flinched awake and Castiel’s hand slapped the snooze button.

“Sorry,” Cas said.

Dean rubbed his tired eyes. 

“It’s alright.”

Realizing that he was in bed with Castiel and the sun was beginning to gleam through the blinds, Dean sat up fast, making him dizzy.

“Wait, what time is it?”

“6:30 am,” Cas said.

“I’m so sorry, Cas.” 

_ I fucking cried in the dudes arms and fell asleep?! Oh god, he’s gonna hate me. Everyone will know now. Crap! Crap! Crap! _

“It’s okay, Dean. I actually enjoyed it,” Cas said with a guilty look on his face.

“Everyone is gonna know now,” Dean said, dragging his hands through his bed head hair.

“Dean, it’ll be okay. I’m always the first one up anyways,” Cas smiled at Dean who was relaxing a bit. “Did you know you snore?”

“I do not.”

“Do too,” Castiel laughed.

“Fuck.”

“It’s cute. And not bad enough that I can’t sleep through it. Just a light snore.”

“I’m really sorry about last night, Cas. I shouldn’t have told you that stuff. Or  _ cried  _ in your arms for fucks sake.”

Dean’s face fell into his palms and he groaned.

“Dean. I mean it. It’s okay. I’m glad you opened yourself up to me.” Castiel sat up and wrapped his arms around Dean. He leaned into Castiel’s embrace and wrapped his arms around Cas’s waste. “Is this moving too fast?”

Dean pulled back from Cas so he could look him in the eye, but kept hugging him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Cas sighed. “We just properly met for the first time two days ago, and I already know so much about you, and you know more about me than almost anyone else. It’s just really fast and I don’t want to push you.”

“I’ve been thinking about that a lot too, Cas. I don’t-” he stopped mid sentence.

“Do you want to take a step back, maybe?” Cas said. He seemed to be sad at the thought and although Dean did think it was moving way too fast, he didn’t want to take a step back.

“No, if that’s alright with you. But maybe we could slow down?” he suggested.

Cas smiled.

“Sounds good to me.”

They sat in bed for a few more minutes, snuggling until Dean decided to slide back into his room.

He was very quiet and not long after he was comfortably lying down in blankets on the floor, Chuck came to knock on the door.

“It’s seven, we’re leaving in forty-five minutes guys,” he said threw the door.

Sam groaned and rolled out of bed. Dean tried his best to act like he’d just woken up but clearly failed terribly.

“How long have you been up?” Sam asked Dean.

“Not that long.”

“Where were you last night, by the time I fell asleep you still weren’t back.”

“Sorry, me and Cas got caught up in conversation,” Dean stood up.

“And you went to bed in the same clothes?” Sam eyed at Deans jeans and flannel.

“Yea, forgot to change I guess.”

“You also forgot the clothes Cas gave you clearly,” Sam looked around the room and found nothing.

_ Shit.  _ Dean thought.  _ I should go get those. _

Dean reached into his duffle bag and pulled out his tooth brush as he headed back to Cas’s room.

The door was shut and Dean knocked.

When no one answered, he opened the door slightly.

“Cas?” he said when he walked in the door. The room was empty and he found the clothes Cas had lent him on Cas’s bed. Dean went to pick them up and turned to find Cas walking in, towel drying his hair and another draped around his waist, leaving his chest a clear view for Dean, water still dripping down his body.

Dean whistled.

“Best view in the house,” he said looking up and down Cas’s barely covered body.

“Dean?” Cas said as he was clearly caught off guard. He looked down at himself and smirked at Dean. “Like what you see?”

“Very,” Dean nodded. “I forgot these.” He showed off the clothes.

Cas smiled.

“By accident or did you just want an excuse to come see me again?” Cas said, raising his eyebrows.

“Both..?” 

“Well, I have to get ready. You gonna stay for the show or..?”

Dean coughed and hustled to the door where Cas still stood. 

“Not rushing, remember? Taking things slow.”

Cas sighed.

“Of course, my bad. Can I at least get a kiss before you leave?” Cas said, leaning forward.

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” Dean responded and pressed his lips to Cas’s.

Leaning in more, Cas’s bare chest pushed into Dean’s body and they wrapped their arms around each other. Cas pulled at Dean’s bottom lip and Dean pushed his tongue into Castiel’s mouth. Cas moaned and Dean pulled back. He pressed another kiss on the tip of Cas’s nose.

“Okay, huggy bear. I’ll see you downstairs in a few minutes.”

He winked and left Castiel breathless. Dean’s fingers traced his lips and he could taste Castiel in his mouth, making him very happy.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to make more short chapters, sorry. But at least I'm posting more often :)

Once everyone was dressed, they all met in the garage.

“Alright we usually all take my Honda but we have more than four people this time so,” Chuck said. “Sam, Charlie, and Claire will come with me, Bath and Dean can go in the Bentley with Cas. Sound good?”

Everyone agreed and piled into the cars, Cas decided to let Balth drive there and Dean sat in the back. The entire ride to the church, Dean couldn’t help but glance back at Cas through the mirror and everytime he found Cas looking at him bodely. When they got there, the group took up one row just for themselves. Dean sat between Charlie and Cas and when Balth squeezed in beside Cas, the two of them purposefully squished closer together. 

They didn’t risk holding hands in such a public place but their hands were resting right beside each other, and Dean kept brushing his fingers against Cas’s. Dean found the whole thing boring and noticed Balth, Charlie and Cas weren’t really paying attention. Sam and Chuck, on the other hand, were both very into it all. At the end, there were snacks and time for everyone to talk a little. There was a wedding at noon so that left them with about an hour before they had to leave, since decorations still had to be set up.

Cas noticed that Dean seemed to be sticking to his arm and his eyes kept darting around nervously.

“Excuse us,” he said to the nice couple they were talking to, pulling Dean with him out of earshot from the crowd. “Are you alright Dean? You seem jumpy.”

“The first time my dad ever beat me was at church,” Dean said. “Sam was only six months old, Charlie was four. They don’t remember but our mother would take us here every Sunday. This exact church. Our father never came but this one time, he did come. Our mother was burned badly in a fire at our house and Charlie and I really loved it here. Some friends watched Sam and dad took me and Charlie here.”

“Dean-”

“No, let me finish, please?”

Castiel nodded for him to continue.

“The priest was talking about marriage. How it was a sin to love another man. I was only six at the time, and didn’t have any interest in anything but building blocks and jello but I didn’t find it right. Afterwards, I told dad it seemed unfair that gay marraige was a sin. He took me behind the church and hit me for the first time. Said it was a sin and that I shouldn’t think otherwise. Said I was a horrible person for thinking being gay was okay. Charlie started crying ‘cause she didn’t like watching and he took us home. From that day on, him hitting me became a good day. He would use brooms, bats, shoes, hangers, whatever he could get his hands on. I still have some scars.”

Dean looked down at his forearm where a deep scar was. 

“This was from a lighter. When I asked if instead of watching the kids I could go to my soccer game,” he sighed.

“Come here,” Cas opened his arms and gave Dean a big hug. “I wish I could make it hurt less.”

“Just listening and being here helps so much, Cas.” 

Dean nuzzled his nose into Castiel’s shoulder and they kept their arms wrapped around each other. They were in another room and no one was around, so Dean pressed a soft kiss to Cas’s neck. It had more effect than he thought it would. Cas’s breathing hitched and Dean pressed a second, more passionate kiss a little higher up. Castiel moaned and his hands wandered down to Dean’s hips. Pulling Dean closer, Dean left a trail of kisses up Castiel’s jaw and finally planted one on Cas’s lips.

Pressing into each other, Cas pushed Dean against the wall. Dean forgot that someone could and probably would walk in at any moment. Dean rolled his hips against Cas’s to create friction and earned a groan from Cas. Cas had his hands desperately tugging at the end of Dean’s shirt until he slid underneath the fabric and up Dean stomach and chest. They were both panting and breathing fast when Dean finally realized what was happening. He broke their lips apart but didn’t push Cas away.

“What are we doing?” he gasped. “Cas, we shouldn’t. Not here, not like this.”

Cas stepped away and nodded. 

“Sorry,” he whispered.

Dean took a step towards Cas again.

“No, don’t be. We both had a part in what just happened. And believe me I enjoyed it,” he laughed. “So much for going slow, huh?”

“I suppose,” Castiel smiled. “It’s getting very difficult to keep my hands off you I’m finding.”

“I get it, trust me I do.”

Dean kisses Cas softly, this time neither of them went farther. They adjusted their clothes and hair and joined the crowd again. 

“Where were you two?” Charlie asked.

“Just looking for snacks,” Dean coughed out and eyed Cas who was looking around the room.

“They are literally right there,” Charlie pointed behind Dean to the snack table.

“Ah, thanks. Free food,” he smiled. He grabbed Cas’s hand without thinking and dragged him to the table.

They both piled their paper plates with snacks; pretzels, cup cakes, chips and dip. 

“This is the only reason I even go to church,” Cas said. “That and because Chuck wants to go.”

“So not religious?”

“No, you?”

“Nope,” Dean said as they laughed.

They both didn’t talk to many other people but they found Charlie talking to another red head who was standing beside- Crowley.

“Uh oh,” Dean said.

“What?”

Dean turned around and held his breath.

“You know Crowley?” Dean asked.

“Yea, he comes here every Sunday with his younger sister Rowena. Do you know him?”

“Yes. And if he sees me he just might kill me,” Dean said.

“Why…” Cas asked cautiously.

“Ok don’t get mad at me. I kinda run a business to get money. I do peoples homework, science, math, and english essays. He didn’t have the money to pay my price so I didn’t give him the homework. Now he’s angry with me, I think.”

“Really? And here I was thinking you got other people to do  _ your _ work. Well, he’s walking this was,” Cas said.

“Shit.”

“Hey Winchester. I have the money now, I swear. It’s okay if you don’t have the work on you just please meet me at the front of the school before school starts tomorrow?” Crowley said.

_ Is he being- no he can’t be. Why is he being nice? _

“Sure thing,” Dean said, turning around. “Looks like our sister’s are getting along.”

“Yea, Rowena has been talking about Charlie non-stop. Anyways, gotta get home. I’ll see you tomorrow, squirrel.” Crowley turned and walked away.

“Squirrel?” Cas asked.

“His nickname for me. Sam is Moose. I have no idea. Don’t ask.” 

Cas shrugged.

By ten, everyone was being kicked out of the church and everyone went home. Balthazar went out for the day and Chuck took Sam and Claire to the park, leaving Cas and Dean with the house all to themselves.

“So what do you want to do?” Dean asked.

Cas took a few slow steps toward Dean and wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck. 

“I have a few ideas,” he said with a cheeky smile.

They kissed and fell onto the couch making out for an hour. When they finally pulled apart, Dean grabbed the remote and Cas made pop corn. 

“What do you wanna watch?” Dean called into the kitchen.

“I don’t know. What was your favourite movie growing up?”

Cas brought two pepsi’s and a big bowl of popcorn and snuggled next to Dean underneath a soft blanket.

“Star wars,” Dean answered.

“Never seen it. Chuck has it but every time we plan on watching it I get busy last minute.”

Dean gasped dramatically and looked at Cas.

“Never seen  _ Star Wars _ !?” he said.

Cas laughed at Dean’s reaction.

“Well I guess we know what we’re doing today.” Dean put on  _ Star Wars: A New Hope _ and snuggled into Cas.

Their marathon lasted until seven when everyone got home. They had just finished  _ Return of the Jedi _ and Dean was satisfied with how much Cas liked the movies. Dean was also asleep on Castiel’s lap.

“Have you two been watching Star Wars all day?” Chuck asked.

“Possibly…” Castiel answered with a smirk. Then he panicked. Dean was still snuggled up to him snoring softly and Cas was playing with his short soft hair.

“You’ve got it bad,” Balth said. 

“What do you mean?” Cas looked at his brother while the kids ran past and up the stairs.

“You’ve been crushing on him for years and I’m almost positive Dean is completely straight. I’m sure I could hook you up with someone though,” he said.

“Uh, no thanks. I’m okay with staying how I am for now,” Cas responded. Little did he know, Dean had just woken up from the talking and couldn’t hold his smile that Cas was all his, and Cas wanted to keep it that way.

“Whatever you say, Cassie Cas. We’re ordering Swiss Chalet for dinner, you can stay here with your boyfriend until it gets here,” Balth winked. Cas knew he was just joking but Dean really was his boyfriend and that made Cas the happiest person on the planet.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My little sister has fallen in love with this story and she is bribing me with food all the time to write more. That's why there are so many more chapters lol. Hope you enjoy this one, it was a hard one to write :)

At the end of the night, after everyone had gone to bed, Dean snuck into Cas’s room who was still awake reading.

“Hey Huggy Bear,” he said.

Cas smiled at Dean and pulled his blanket up for Dean to join. He rushed over and snuggled into Cas’s chest while Cas continued to read.

“What is with the ‘huggy bear’ nickname?” Cas asked.

“I don’t know. You’re just all cuddly and warm like a teddy bear. Also strong like a normal bear,” Dean shrugged.

“Should I start giving you nicknames and pet names?” Cas looked down at Dean who had his eyes closed.

“Up to you.”

“Alright, sweetheart,” Cas said.

Dean took a deep breath to smell the scent of Castiel.

“I can definitely be okay with pet names though,” Dean said.

He drifted off to sleep and Castiel put his book down and turned off his lamp. Cas didn’t go to sleep right away though, he watched Dean sleep seeing his chest rise and fall. He knew he was falling in love with the other man and couldn’t stop it, all he could do was hope Dean was feeling the same. When Cas finally fell asleep, he had dreams of Dean flooding over him. Until he was woken at 3 in the morning to Charlie.

“What the hell?!” She said.

Cas opened his eyes and Dean grumbled.

“What is this?” Charlie asked.

“Shh,” Cas put a finger to his lip. “Please don’t wake him. He needs sleep and he’s already worried about you guys finding out.”

“Finding out what? That he’s fucking you for a home?” she accused.

“No! God, no! It’s not like that. I promise,” Cas whispered.

“Then what is it like?”

“I care about him. And I think- I hope he cares about me too.”

“You guys are in love?”

Dean snored a little and nuzzled into Cas’s shirt more.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“I didn’t even know Dean was… you know.  _ Gay _ .”

“He’s not gay. Look, can we talk about this tomorrow? With Dean?”

“Ok. I just came to check in on him and he wasn’t in his room and I panicked,” Charlie explained.

Cas tilted his head in confusion. “Check in on him?”

“Yea. Dean has nightmares, wakes up screaming sometimes. It gets bad. He’s taken care of us for so long and this is one of the only other things we’ve needed to help him with.”

“Nightmares? About what?”

“It’s not my place to tell you, only Dean can tell you that. Whenever he’s ready. He doesn’t trust easily. He might tell you things but he’ll always be scared you’ll hurt him or leave him, so take care of him and be patient, okay?”

“Alright. Thank you Charlie.”

“No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow when we will talk about this. But don’t worry I won’t tell anyone,” she smiled and left the room.

After Charlie left, Cas fell asleep again quickly, but not before wondering and worrying what she meant about Dean’s nightmares.

~~~~~~~~

Cas woke up on his own at quarter to six and he turned off his alarm so it didn’t startle Dean. Dean was still resting peacefully and Cas caressed his face and smiled because Dean was all  _ his _ . He pressed a kiss on Dean’s forehead, then one of his cheek, then his nose, as Dean slowly woke from the tender lips all over him.

“Good morning sunshine,” he said smiling.

“Good morning, precious.”

“Precious?” Dean giggled. “Never heard that one before. I feel like I’m the ring from Lord of the Rings.”

“Never seen it,” Cas shrugged.

“You’re kidding me. Seriously? Wow, I live on the streets and even I have better movie knowledge than you,” Dean mumbled.

“ _ Lived  _ on the streets. Now you live here,” Cas laced his fingers with Dean’s. 

“For now,” Dean frowned. 

He sighed and rolled into Cas’s chest.

“I hate the morning. I wish I could just sleep all day.”

“I agree,” Cas chuckled. “But I love waking up next to you.”

Dean made an adorable sound and moved so his face was in Castiel’s neck.

“Me too,” he said.

“We do have a  _ minor _ problem though,” Cas said.

“What do you mean?” 

Dean pulled his head back to stare into Castiel’s blue eyes. He could drown in those eyes all day if allowed to.

“Well, last night, Charlie may have found us…” he whispered.

“What!” Dean bolted up, heart racing in his chest.

_ Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! _ He thought.  _ No, no, no, no, no, no, no! _

“Dean, relax. Take a deep breath. She promised not to tell anyone, she just wants to talk to us,” Cas tried to sooth the other man who was terrified.

“You don’t understand, Cas. I-”

“Dean, hey,” Cas took the mans face between his hands.

“She seemed okay with it, once she put the thought that you were screwing me for a house.” When Dean’s eyes widened more Cas quickly added, “but even if we weren’t dating, I would have let you stay here, of course.”

“I can’t face her now,” he dropped his face into the palms of his hands.

“Is being with me really so bad?” Cas said, his voiced coated in hurt.

“No, of course not. It’s just, I always told them I wouldn’t be getting into another relationship since-” Dean almost choked on the name. He couldn’t even think it, why did he think he could say it.

“Since what Dean?”

“Nothing. I guess I should slip back into my room,” he dragged himself out of bed but Cas reached for his hand again.

“Or,” Cas said. “We could say you got up early and came to hang out with me before school. Maybe we could say we were working on our project?” 

Dean smiled softly at Cas.

“Or we could do that,” he giggled and rolled into the bed again. “You’re eyes are beautiful, Cas.”

Dean was gazing directly into Castiel’s blue eyes as Cas looked down at Dean’s hand that he was tracing. He began to blush.

“So are yours,” he said.

“But they aren’t anything like yours,” Dean tilted his head to admire his boyfriend.

_ Boyfriend. Wow. _

They stayed in bed until someone knocked on the door. Dean pushed himself up and Cas called out, “One moment, just getting changed!”

“Guys, it’s me. I wanna talk now.”

It was Charlie.

“Oh, ok. Come in.”

She pushed the door open, already dressed for school.

“Hey,” Dean looked down at his hands, pulling them away from Cas’s grip.

“So… I’m not gonna lie, not completely surprised that you’re, what, bi?” she assumed.

“Yea…”

“Well, what I didn’t expect was to find out you and Cas were together. I mean, I’m not stupid you clearly had  _ something _ going on but I just assumed you too didn’t like each other or somethin’,” she said.

“On the contrary, I  _ really _ like him,” Cas smiled, reaching for Dean’s hand again. He was stiff but allowed it.

“Well, good for you!” Charlie gleed. 

_ Wait, what? _

“You’re okay with this?” Dean asked.

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know I just thought that- I don’t know,” he sighed.

“You too are adorable, though. There is something I wanted to talk to you about actually, and this helps. A lot,” Charlie started fidgeting.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Dean pat the bed for her to sit beside him. She sat down and he wrapped an arm around her.

“I’m- I’m gay.”

Dean tried to stifle his laugh. “I know.”

“You- you  _ know? _ ” She gave him a shocked look. 

“Yes. Remember Dorothy?”

“Um, yea.” Charlie smiled at the memory.

Dorothy was Charlie’s first kiss. Charlie brought her to the Roadhouse to hangout. They were best friends, and the only person she’s ever told about her housing situation, her parents, everything. Behind the Roadhouse, Dorothy was wearing overalls and Charlie’s sweater because it was cold. Sitting on a wooden box, Charlie leaned forward and kissed her. Dorothy kissed back then told Charlie she was leaving a week later. Her father was moving her to Scotland. She had known for months, but never told Charlie. She let Charlie get attached to the idea of having something with Dorothy, then left her. She broke her heart. Broke Charlie.

“Yea, I saw the whole thing,” Dean said. “I’m sorry about Dorothy. I didn’t say anything because I knew you’d tell me when you were ready.”

“Thanks,” she said.

Cas didn’t know what to say so he sat there awkwardly. 

“I actually like someone new now,” Charlie smiled.

“Oh yea? Who?”

“Rowena… Crowley’s sister. She’s amazing,” Charlie said. “At first we didn’t get along, at all. But now…”

“You’re friends?” Dean said.

“Yea. But I don’t think she likes me, she’s  _ really  _ religious. Then again, so is Chuck and he’s fine with Cas being Pan.” When Cas looked at her confused at how she knew she added; “I talked to him. Not about you two of course, just about me being a lesbian.”

“Alright. Well, I should get ready for school,” Dean said. 

“It’s only seven-” Charlie said but Cas cut her off.

“Yea but I mean we also have our assignment to work on,” he gave Dean a mischievous smile.

“Right, uh yea that too,” Dean coughed.

“Sure you do,” Charlie winked as she backed away. “You two have fun. Not too much fun though, take it easy, okay Dean?”

Castiel looked at Dean in confusion who had a grateful look on his face.

“I know, thank you,” Dean replied.

_ What does Charlie mean ‘take it easy’? And why is it directed strongly at Dean?  _ Cas thought.

When she left and closed the door, Dean smiled at Cas.

“As much as I would love to stay, I do want to have a shower before school,” he explained.

“Well,” Cas leaned in to Dean. “I could join you…”

Cas’s breath was warm against Dean’s face and he swallowed hard.

“Um… I don’t know if that’s a good idea Cas…”

“Why not?” Cas had his hands trailing Dean’s body in no time and Dean fell prey to Cas’s kisses.

They started on his lips and sunk lower to Deans neck, then Cas lead the kisses down Dean’s chest and stomach until he hit skin again where Dean’s shirt was lifted slightly.

“Cas-” Dean’s voice was dry and raspy.

Cas began to slide Dean’s shirt off when he noticed Dean’s breathing pick up, but not the way he wanted it to. Dean was breathing like he was scared, like he was in a panic attack.

“Dean?” Cas stopped kissing him and brought his face up to meet Dean’s again.

The other man’s eyes were wide with terror and his breaths were unsteady. He was shaking.

“Are you okay?” Cas said and place his hands on Dean’s shoulders. “We don’t have to, Dean. It’s okay. I’m sorry if I was too forward, maybe it’s going too fast?”

Dean wouldn’t answer him and Cas was really worrying.

“Hey, sweety,” he took Dean’s face into his hands. “Talk to me, please?”

“I-” Dean finally spoke.

“Yes?”

“I’m so sorry. I can’t- I can’t so this, I- I just can’t-” he was breathing fast and shallow. He pushed his shirt down again and got out of bed.

“Dean?!” Cas was on the edge of losing it.

“I can’t- I can’t-” Dean was repeating as he rushed out the room sobbing.

Cas chased after him and found Dean throwing a few things into a bag before rushing out the front door.

“Dean!” he called out from the porch while Dean slowly disappeared from sight.

When Cas returned inside, without Dean, everyone was at the table eating breakfast and they started attacking him with questions.

“What was that?” Sam asked.

“Why did Dean run out?” Chuck said.

“Castiel, what did you do to my brother?” Charlie seemed more angry and worried than anyone else at the table.

Cas didn’t answer any of their questions. He just ran back up the stairs and retreated to his bedroom where he collapsed onto his bed and began crying. His sheets smelt like Dean and that made everything worse and better. He breathed in the smell and sobbed wondering what he did wrong. Why Dean had left. 


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this chapter, it's not that good I don't think but let me know in the comments! Enjoy :)

A knock came at the door and Balthazar and Charlie entered the room. Cas had his head buried into his pillows. He had stopped crying by then, and missed the entire day of school. Chuck was at work and he assumed Balth and Charlie had just gotten home.

“Hey buddy, how ya feeling?” Balthazar asked. 

Cas refused to move his head out of his pillow so his voice came out all muffled.

“How does it look like I’m doing?” he said.

“Well, not that great. Can you tell us what happened Cas?” his brother asked.

Cas finally lifted his head. He turned around so that he was sitting up and hugging his pillow close to his chest.

“I-” he began but stopped. He couldn’t tell Balthazar about him and Dean. But he could tell Charlie, and she’d probably be more helpful in the situation anyways. “If it’s alright with you, Balth, I’d like to tell Charlie first.”

Balth nodded and left the room.

Charlie sat at the edge of Cas’s bed and looked him in the eye.

“What the hell happened Cas?” she wasn’t going easy on him.

“I don’t know, I swear. One minute we were having fun the next he was walking out the door,” Cas said. “I don’t know what I did wrong, I don’t know why he left, I just  _ don’t know _ .”

Cas buried his face in his pillow again and tried to hold back his tears.

He heard Charlie sigh and she shifted on the bed so her legs were crossed.

“I’m sorry, Cas. Chances are you didn’t do anything wrong, but I need to know everything that happened after I left the room,” she said.

“I’m not sure that’s something I should be telling you-” Cas tried but she cut him off.

“Did you guys get very intimate?” she asked.

“Woa, that’s a personal question kinda, Charlie.”

“Just tell me, okay? I need to know which trauma made Dean leave. What triggered him,” she explained.

“Triggered him..?”

“He has PTSD, Cas. For multiple reasons. Now please just tell me, I know it seems weird but I need to know.”

He looked her in the eyes and sighed.

“He said he needed to shower and I asked if I could join him…” Cas looked down at his hands awkwardly. “He said he didn’t think it was a good idea but I started kissing him and then he was breathing funny, not the way he normally does when we make out and he looked scared. I stopped and tried to talk to him but all he said was that he couldn’t do this anymore and he left the room repeating ‘I can’t’ over and over again.”

“That’s what I was worried about. Look, I don’t know what Dean has told you but he has an ex, Lisa. She abused him, assaulted him. Especially sexually. She manipulated him and I’m worried that you might have accidentally triggered him.” When Charlie saw that Cas looked like he was about to cry again she grabbed his hand. “Hey, this isn’t the first time Dean has done this. It wasn’t your fault, we’ll find him. We always do. But we’re gonna need to tell everyone about you two, I’m sorry but it’s the only way we can explain what’s happening.”

“But Dean doesn’t want them to know-”

“It’s not up to him anymore, he needs help, Cas. This is how we help him,” Charlie said.

Cas took a deep breath and forced himself out of bed. He followed Charlie to the dining room where Chuck was home from work early and Balth was standing.

“Hey buddy, how ya doing?” Chuck asked.

“I’m okay, but I’ll be better once we find Dean,” Cas said.

“What’s happening?” Balthazar asked.

“Well, Sam can come help later but right now he’s with Donna and the day care. Dean needs our help. Cas, you wanna tell them?” Charlie looked over to Cas who was not happy about having to tell everyone without Dean by his side.

“Me and Dean, we’re dating. And I had no idea but Charlie said he had an abusive ex and that he has PTSD. I must have triggered him somehow today, and I am so sorry. But we need to find him.”

“Alright,” Chuck said.

“Really? ‘Alright’? Just like that?” Cas was confused that his father was okay with him dating a guy living with them.

“Yes. We can talk about it more when Dean is home again.” Chuck looked right into Cas’s eyes and said, “It’s not your fault this happened, Castiel. You know that right?”

Cas nodded, even though he thought it was his fault.

“Okay, we’ll check Dean’s usual spots. The Roadhouse, behind the grocery store he used to work at, and the school. Balth can take the school, Chuck the grocery store, and me and Cas will go to the Roadhouse,” Charlie took charge of the search party and they all head out. 

~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Dean wasn’t in any of those places. He was at his best friend's house, Benny.

“Here,” Benny said, handing Dean a cup of coffee. 

“Thanks,” Dean had finally stopped crying and realized how tired he was.

“So what’s going on, pal?” Benny asked.

Dean sighed and closed his eyes.

“I’m such an idiot, that’s what.” He took a sip of the coffee and looked at the clock. “Oh, it’s been longer than I thought.”

“Yea, you got here at, what, eight? I was running late for school anyways. You’ve been crying on and off all day, didn’t think you could even register where you were or what was happening until you asked for some coffee,” Benny said. He patted Dean on the shoulder. “You wanna tell me what happened, brother?”

“Oh god,” Dean whispered. “I just- I’ve never told anyone before, Benny. Only two people, and they weren’t- I just-” he sighed.

“Hey, we’ve been friends for most of our lives, Dean. You can trust me, I swear. I won’t judge.”

“I’m bisexual…” Dean said. He looked his best friend in the eyes who didn’t look too shocked.

“Yea, I kinda figured you weren’t straight, pal.” 

“You- Seriously?! You and Charlie both knew?!” Dean placed his coffee on the table and ran his hands through his hair.

“But that wouldn’t make you freak out like that, so what happened Dean?” Benny sat next to Dean on the couch.

“I started seeing someone,” Dean said.

“Oh, now that I didn’t expect,” Benny smiled at Dean. “That’s good for you, Dean.”

“Yea, yea it is but-”

“But what?”

“I fucked up, man. Big time.” Dean looked up at Benny.

“What do you mean?”

“His name is Cas,” Dean said. “He’s so amazing, man. He has these beautiful blue eyes and his hair is always a mess. He’s so kind and caring.”

“And you fucked it up with him somehow?” Benny guessed.

“Yea, well kinda…” Dean took another sip of his coffee and prepared himself to tell Benny what happened. 

Benny gave him a reassuring smile.

“Last night I stayed in his room,” Benny raised his eyebrows. “No, we didn’t… you know. But when I woke up, I wanted to go shower and he-”

Dean froze up at the memory.

“Hey, Dean, it’s alright,” Benny said.

“He asked if he could join me… I said it wasn’t a good idea but he started kissing me and pulling at my shirt and we’ve made out before but this time it was just… different. I couldn’t breathe and I said ‘I can’t do this’ and left. I meant I can’t go that far just yet but I think he might think I meant I couldn’t date him and I just left and he called after me, chased me to the front door but I was just gone. I came here and calmed down but I just couldn’t stop thinking about-”

Dean bit his tongue because the memories were too painful.

“Dean…” Benny touched his friend's shoulder who flinched at the contact. “Hey, look at me.”

Dean stared into his eyes at the brink of tears again.

“I know it’s hard to think about her, but you gotta move past her to be with him, right?”

_ Benny’s right, _ Dean thought.  _ Forget about what she did to me so I can be with him. With Castiel. My huggy bear. _

“You’re right,” Dean sighed. “It’s all just going so fast too.”

“Well with her it was slow and long and painful. Maybe you need fast, Dean. And if you really care about him, trust your instincts,” Benny said.

“Okay,” Dean said, nodding. “I need to- can I borrow your phone?”

Benny handed Dean his cell phone and Dean typed Castiel’s number into the keypad. Dean might not own a phone but he made sure to memorise Cas’s number anyways.

~~~~~~~~

Charlie and him had looked everywhere they could even think Dean would be.

“I don’t know anymore, Cas. I’m sorry,” Charlie said.

“It’s alright Charlie, I just hope he’s safe.”

Cas sighed as he heard his phone begin to ring. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the phone.

He had expected it to be Chuck or Balthazar looking for an update, but it was an unknown number.

“Huh, I usually don’t get spam calls,” Cas thought out loud.

Charlie looked over his shoulder to see the unknown number.

“That’s not- Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. Dean’s best friend, Benny! That’s his number. Maybe he went to Benny’s,” Charlie said.

Cas didn’t expect Dean to answer the call, he assumed it would be Benny informing him that Dean was safe.

“Hello?” Cas answered the call with a scratchy voice that was coated in much more hurt and worry than he intended it to.

“Cas?” Dean’s voice responded.

It took him a minute to realize that it was Dean answering. He was calling.

“Dean-” 

“Look, before you say anything. I’m so sorry Cas. You didn’t deserve that and I know you didn’t sign up for all my shit. If you want we can just go back to being friends, or just not knowing each other at all if that’s what you need. I’ll ask Ms. Tran for a different partner on the assignment it’s not too late-” Dean was going to continue but Cas cut him off.

“No. Stop. I just- are you okay, Dean? I don’t want to go back but I’ve been so worried, are you okay? Talk to me, please,” Cas’s voice was desperate for his boyfriend to talk to him, tell him what was wrong and how Cas could fix it.

“Can you meet me at the arcade at seven? Just you, alone please.”

“But Dean-”

“Cas, please?” Dean’s voice broke and it made Cas want to curl into his bed again and cry. But he also wanted to hold Dean and help however he could.

“Alright. Just please be careful,” Cas asked.

“Of course, Cas. I really am sorry.”

“It’s alright Dean. I forgive you. I’ll see you soon, darling.” Cas hadn’t meant for the name to slip out but it did. Luckily Dean chuckled and was blushing on the other end of the line.

“See you soon, sweetheart.”

Dean hung up first and Cas gripped his phone to his chest while Charlie questioned him.

“Was that him? What did he say? Is he alright? Where is he? Should we go get him? Does he want us to get him? Does he need space? Castiel, what’s happening?” 

He slid his phone back into his pocket and sighed.

“He wants to meet with me, just me. He told me when and where, nothing else.”

“Why would he ask to see you? I mean, no offence Cas but you two started talking three days ago. No wonder Dean freaked out and left. He doesn’t know you. You two aren’t in love. This is going to end badly.” Charlie stormed away and Cas looked at the time on his phone.

_ 4:36 pm. I still have two and a half hours until I’m meeting with Dean, I suppose I can read or something while I wait,  _ Cas thought. He went home and read his book for ten minutes before lying in his bed drowning in the smell of Dean which was still all over his bed sheets.

~~~~~~~~

Dean was sitting on the blow up mattress on the floor of the arcade. He’d been there since six, thinking about Cas and how short they’d known each other.

_ Three days and I’m already head over heels for the guy,  _ Dean thought.  _ This can’t be healthy, or right. But it’s true. I’m falling in love with Cas so fast and I don’t want it to stop or slow down. _

Dean took a sip from his Pepsi he had gotten at the vending machine. It was 7:15 pm now and he was starting to think Cas wouldn’t show up when he heard the Bentley pull into the parking lot.

_ Here goes nothing. _

Cas slid through the crack in the wood and looked around the dark room. Dean flicked the switch and it all came to life, but Cas looked at Dean like he was the one providing all the light, because in Cas’s eyes, he was.

“Dean-” Cas said and took a step forward but Dean took a step back and Cas decided to stand there and wait for Dean to break the distance between them.

“Cas…” Dean said and took a few steps closer. “I am so  _ so _ sorry, man. For walking out on you this morning, for not calling or explaining, for everything. I am just so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Dean. Charlie told me about Lisa-”

Dean winced at the name.

“I’m sorry,” Cas whispered.

“No. I need to get past it. Because I want to be with you so I will get past it. It just might take a little while,” Dean took a few steps closer until they were a metre apart.

“Dean, what you said earlier about going back to being friends or not knowing each other at all. If that’s what you want, we can do that. But I want you to know that is the last thing I want to happen. I-” Cas stopped when he saw tears rolling down Dean’s face. “Oh, Dean.”

Cas closed the distance between them, taking Dean into his arms without thinking. At first Dean froze up and went stiff but then he sighed and crumbled into Cas’s embrace.

“Shh, I’ve got you. It’s alright, Dean. It’ll be alright,” Cas whispered reassurance into Dean’s ear.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist and pulled back a little so he could look Cas in the eye. Cas whipped Dean’s tears away with the sleeve of his blue sweater.

“I know this is going really fast, Cas, but I really care about you and I-” he stopped, not knowing how to say what he needed to say. “You know what?” he sighed. “Words aren’t enough, so I want to show you.” 

Dean pressed his lips against Cas’s passionately and Cas moaned. When Dean slipped his tongue into the other man’s mouth, Cas pushed Dean against the nearest wall, sandwiching him. They only separated their lips for more air and just with kissing the two of them were receiving all sorts of sounds.

Cas’s hands held Dean’s hips against the wall while Dean unzipped Cas’s sweater. He then separated from Cas for a moment to pull Cas’s shirt over his head and it fell to the floor. They commenced kissing and Cas was pulling up Dean’s dark grey t-shirt. Dean had to pace himself for a moment but he got past the anxiety and let Cas pull his shirt off.

Dean rolled his hips against Cas’s and moaned at the friction. Cas’s hands moved to Dean’s belt and Dean pushed Cas towards the bed. They both kicked their jeans off so they were in nothing but their boxers. Dean scanned the other man’s flawless body. Dean’s body, on the other hand, was mostly smooth and perfect except for the few scars he had. One on his shoulder blade, one on his forearm, and one on his stomach. All were his fathers doing.

Cas’s lips parted at the sight of Dean and he quickly pushed Dean onto the bed and crawl on top of him, and continued to kiss Dean. Dean’s hands started driving pathways through Castiel’s hair and Cas moaned into Dean’s mouth. The two of them panted and moved together until they were sweaty and exhausted. Cas collapsed beside Dean and smiled at him.

“Well then, I guess we just did that,” Dean said sliding his boxers and jeans back on while still lying down.

“Yes, we did.” 

Castiel was beaming and very happy and so in love.

“Dean, we should probably head back soon. Everyone was worried about you, especially Charlie.”

Cas got out of the bed and pulled his clothes back on.

“I guess. I just don’t know how everyone will react-”

“Dean,” Cas walked to the bed and crouched next to Dean’s head. “I promise you, if anyone says anything horrible, I will not let them get away with it.”

“Thank you Cas. But you’re right, it’s time I come out. Tell everyone the truth. Can we do it tomorrow?”

“Of course, darling. Whatever you need,” Cas carsessed Dean’s cheek and Dean leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and smiling.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Dean asked.

“I was going to you to stay with me anyways,” Cas smiled.

Dean rolled out of bed and tugged his shirt on. They turned off the power to the building and drove home.

It was almost ten when they got back. They had stopped for burgers on the way since neither of them had eaten. Cas led Dean to his room and he lended Dean a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. They snuggled into bed, Dean on the left, Cas on the right. Dean placed his head on Cas’s chest. 

“Goodnight, Huggy Bear.” Dean drifted off and began snoring softly.

Cas placed a lingering kiss on Dean’s head and ran his hand up and down Dean’s arm in soothing movements.

“Goodnight, my love.” Cas whispered. Cas had never used that name for anyone and wasn’t planning on using it on Dean when he was awake. But in the dark while he slept, Cas found it very appropriate for he was falling in love with Dean. Falling in love hard and fast.


End file.
